Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I’ve have had the privilege of being married for over a year now, and I have got to say.. It has been quite the experience! There is nothing harder than putting two people into one life and having to learn how to be “one” with one another. On the other hand, it has been one of the most humbling and honoring seasons of my life. There are so many scriptures that speak of how powerful love is, and your marriage is the one relationship where that is tested on the daily. I have never learned more about God’s love than through my husband, and it’s healed me in ways I would have never expected.
We have the opportunity to challenge, uplift, encourage, sharpen and be vulnerable with each other as husband and wife. We also have the opportunity to judge, look down on, lash out, disrespect and push each other away. We are all human and there are definitely moments where I mess up and do the latter, but in those moments I realize that what I’m really wanting is control. I want to control him as much as I want to control my own life, and in some way I think that coming at him with a negative attitude is somehow going to whip him into shape. Let me tell you, it doesn’t. Not even a little bit.
God has taught me over and over again that my need for control is a huge issue in my life. I’m afraid that I won’t receive the desires of my heart, even though God promises them, so I try and take things into my own hands. This does not go over well in a marriage, I have learned. The more I would desire and dream, the more I found myself putting those on Tyler and expecting him to fulfill them for me.
Let me tell you, there is nothing more powerful than love – the action of love. The more I read 1 Corinthians 13 in regards to my marriage, the more I realized how horrible I was at showing Tyler love. As I worked on this and began to love him through every circumstance, I noticed a drastic change in the both of us. When I choose to encourage him, compliment him, uplift and believe in him, he becomes better, stronger, more confidant and sure of himself. As I speak to him as the man I see, the man I envision him becoming, something shifts on the inside, and vise-versa.
Now, let’s talk about the way you view yourself on a daily basis. Do you come down on yourself? Try to control everything around you and get upset when things don’t go your way? Do you think negatively of your personality, body, or capabilities? If you pay attention to your thoughts and how many of them are negative throughout the day, what do you think that’s going to do to you as a person? You’re going to feel not good enough, and that you don’t have enough in your life to make you happy. What would happen if we started to speak and believe all the things God says about us in scripture? What if we spoke life into our deepest insecurities and began appreciating where we are right now, in the present moment?
God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), you are the apple of His eye (Psalm 17), and you are His treasured possession (Deuteronomy 7:6). We are constantly allowing our desires and dreams to tear us down when we aren’t experiencing them. We think that because we haven’t arrived, we aren’t capable or good enough. There is a God who speaks so highly of you, and we need to start believing what He says! There is so much power in love and God is the greatest at giving it to us – we need to be patient enough to hear it.
My challenge for you today is to find three verses in scripture that you need to hear on a daily basis. Make it deep, make it personal, don’t be afraid to let yourself down. Practice speaking those scriptures over you every morning, before your day starts. Make yourself a perfect cup of coffee, go sit outside or wrap yourself up in a blanket, and tell yourself the truth. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no flaw in you. You are the apple of God’s eye and He delights in you. Speak it out loud, don’t be shy! In your worst moments, let these verses be your anthem. Let them speak to the deepest part of you and awaken a confidence that only God can give you! You are so special and you are made for a purpose. I believe in you, and I know you’re going to do great things.