To say I hate change is an extreme understatement. I find myself comfortable, even in negative circumstances, and allow my fear of the unknown to overrule any benefits of change. As I have experienced some pretty significant transitions here recently I am challenged to reconsider my approach to change.
There is no amount of preparation that will allow me to enter a new season with ease but as I reflect on these past couple of months I do realize I certainly could have done something different.
I was recently caring for 2 amazing children who have the tendency to teach me so much if I allow them. We went on a walk and they took their scooters with them. They ride so freely without fear of what could happen, I enjoy watching that free spirit you mostly find in children. But as we were going, the inevitable happened, a crash. I approached at a slightly quicker pace, but not too fast. I knew without an immediate cry, everything was fine. The child had discovered he had fallen and was startled so the tears came slowly but the tears didn’t really start until his sister approached the scene with strong sympathy. I arrived to the scene as he was screaming and he was unable to stand due to the amounts of blood that he refused to show me. I got down to his level to check it out and there it was, a tiny speck of blood.
We all know that children can be reactionary and dramatic but it was in this moment I recognized how well this relates to how I have behaved recently in relation to the changes in my life. Transitions are inevitable and quite beneficial but my perspective of transition has ruined any chance of excitement. But the cycle was very similar to this situation. I saw my world was making some pretty big turns, different job, saying goodbye to one of my best friends, a new home, the list goes on. Even thinking on these things put knots in my stomach. This was the beginning of my tears. Then it came time to talk about my feelings, with everyone… As I began to speak out my fears with friend after friend my feelings were affirmed, this was going to be hard. This is when my tears grew more frequent. I have so much to learn from this.
Perspective is everything. Had I not stared at my future situations as a giant scrape rather acknowledge it for its true size I would have reserved a lot of fear and anxiety. Change is a scary thing, we are required to acknowledge our lack of control and walk forward and hope for the best. But I can think back on every season of life and be grateful. There are plenty of seasons I pray to God I never have to relive but I would not take them back simply for the fact of how much growth occurred. And I will not be one to stand in the way of any opportunity to grow in wisdom and even experience.
His sister knew he had fallen and was hurt, she responded how she felt was best because she cares for him. And I ran to my friends and all those around me to affirm my feelings were right and I had every reason to be afraid. My friends did nothing wrong but I had opened doors for them to advocate my sulking. Each time I spoke of it I was only allowing the fear to soak deeper.
All of this to say, change is not the enemy, it never was. Fear is understandable but it can’t keep us from jumping all the way into the next season.
Proverbs 16:9 – NLT
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
Knowing seasons of change are something I must adjust to I had to prepare myself to approach it without the kicking and screaming. My plans tend to be a picture of everything I want without consideration of what I need. But I know as I foresee change in my life, I must acknowledge it is from God and embrace it. We can do all the planning we want but God is ultimately in control and I will never deny the fact I would rather follow Him. Even when that means change will be unexpected and most likely frequent. I can only hope I am able to approach the next season of change with great anticipation and allow my fear to be silenced.
By: Alyssa Reed